You Never Know When An Earth Angel Will Show Up
On the morning of April 19, 2015 if someone would have told me I was going to be a different person by bedtime I wouldn’t have believed them. I had scheduled a healing session for my twin daughters with a colleague of mine, Ashley Lee, an energy healer and medical intuitive who specializes in working with children. I was doing as much as I could to help them get support after their father and I split up. It was a confusing time for them, well for all of us really, and it was extremely important for me to help them to integrate the changes that had taken place as best as I could. I would say I was a hair above rock bottom. Recovering from my dark night was one of the most challenging journey’s I have ever walked. I felt like I was taking 5 steps forward and then 50 steps back. I was exhausted, scared, uncertain of the future, and still emotionally bankrupt from the loss divorce can leave in its wake.
We arrived at our scheduled appointment time and my girls were excited to play with Ashley’s crystals and energetic toys while she was giving them a treatment. Before they started a gentleman in her office introduced himself to me as an NLP Practitioner and asked if I’d like to have a session with him while my girls and Ashley were in their treatment. I immediately said yes because I knew I needed more support then I was receiving. I now call Mike one of my Earth Angel’s. In under 2 hours I walked out of Ashley’s office completely transformed asking myself “What just happened?” and feeling gratitude I had forgotten existed.
What did Mike and I do that day to shift the course of my life permanently? We took a deep seeded program I had been running in my subconscious my whole life and literally put it on a tree across the street! It had started from my first memory at the age of 3. When I felt this pattern leave my body it was exhilarating. I instantly felt lighter, pure joy was flowing through my veins for what felt like the first time in my life. He walked me through multiple processes that afternoon which helped me to reopen my chakra’s, balance my brain chemistry, and cut myself free from this core wound that had been wreaking such havoc in my life. I was amazed that even though I considered myself to be pretty self-aware, I wasn’t consciously aware of the prominence this false belief held in my psyche. I knew now and I wasn’t going back to where I came from.
Integrating The Shift
There’s a saying that your whole life can change in the time it takes to breath. I had just experienced this in such a profound way I wanted to shout, “I’m Free!!!” from the rooftops and dance through the streets. The next day I awoke pondering how nothing else in my life had changed though. On the outside I was still surviving, still unemployed, still living in total uncertainty. How could I begin to let this new-found inner self flow into my outer life? So, I did the first thing I thought of, I packed a bag, got in my car and drove and kept driving. I headed straight to the Redwoods a full 10-12 hour drive away from Southern California. It was my grandmothers birthday and I thought I’d go say hello. I knew other family members would be there visiting too and wanted to see everyone with these fresh eyes I was sporting.
Upon arriving, it didn’t go so well. I can remember feeling like I was an alien. Couldn’t they see the difference in me since the last time we saw each other? Couldn’t they feel the vibrancy pulsing through my skin? Why were they judging me so harshly? Then I realized I was showing them a mirror. I was only the messenger.
Their reaction to me had nothing to do with me and it never did! What a concept!
I forgave the entire situation and my ancestral lineage over the next few years. At first it was simply stopping myself from attempting to gain their approval or acceptance. Eventually, I officially put down the victim badge inside; I saw them and the situation from love instead of from abandonment and rejection. I remember feeling sad by the loss of it all and yet free at the same time. Free from the power that I had previously given away to their opinions of me.
In all fairness, they didn’t understand what I was going through. They were seeing my mistakes and failures as defining moments in my life, perhaps ones I would never recover from. Once I understood how different their lens was compared to mine, I was finally ready to let go. I let go of any and all attachments to changing their lens’ or my own to fit theirs. I let go of needing to please. I let go of trying so hard to be loved and appreciated by them. From that point on, I began to intentionally foster my relationships. I focused on my friendships that are balanced in giving and receiving mutual support and love. I stopped participating in the one-sided ones, the putting down ones, the you can’t do that ones and the like.
For my own self-preservation, I can love them from a distance and not feel the slightest bit bad about it!
Again, what a concept.
Those two days in April became a talisman experience for me. I can look back at the last few years and see its impact in every area of my life. I completed my coaching certification years before meeting Mike. I knew the potential a deep dive session can have on someone’s life. I had witnessed it, but hadn’t personally experienced its full potency until then. I realized that I needed to go through everything I had gone through up until that point, in order to be the coach I knew I was inside. An aspect of the passion I bring to my coaching practice comes from knowing the quantum leaps that are possible when someone is really ready and committed to create them.
I had to pledge to myself to burst through my own dark night experience, to fully honor it, and allow it to birth a new me into existence. My number one takeaway from this experience is to be open to receiving; to ask for support when needed, and accept it when it comes. If you find yourself craving things to change in life and don’t know how to make it happen, simply affirming your desire, gets the ball moving. Please reach out and say hello if you’d like to have a conversation about it. Taking that first step forward is a leap of faith, I’m here to take it with you!
From my heart,
Tanja
Exploring the Soul’s Take on Everyday Life
Dear Tanija! Your story reminds me of a time when I was so much vibrant, and feeling different, that there was nobody near by to see or support me emotionally, nor understanding the process of awakening. I tried not to feel the frustration and went out in the nature. Nature was answering to me like nothing else : plants around the house were growing bigger in shorter time, the flowers were blooming extra flowers, people were healing just from my voice, etc… Then I started hugging the tree because there was nobody around that could stand with the fire of the love my being was radiating but push me back, not able to receive the love form me, yet from the plants around. Hugging the trees for months was a great balancing thing, specially after noticing their response. Than I tried with the ocean an it was another amazing relationships for another number of months … Then changes did occur that re-positioned me again on working with people, as nurse assistant for a while and I could gentle also do the healing they were in need for and new classes in healing, meeting exceptional healers… Then the ugly energy attacks started and it was another turn of my life, and learning not just to survive but how to heal myself and helping other heal too, was another level of growing:). So ya, let’s talk:)
Your article made my day and THANK YOU for being on earth and thanks to the universe for helping me find you! What a gift!